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We recommend that you work with a personal Business Coach for a minimum of one year. This will ensure...
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31 January 2020 - Comments
Beliefs
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Beliefs are the rules you live by, the rules of your life.
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● These rules can be empowering and give you permission to get your goals and live by your values.
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● These rules can be obstructing, making goals impossible or leading you to believe you are not capable of getting them.
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Beliefs are views about ourselves, other people and situations that we hold to be true.
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● They are emotionally held views not based on facts.
How Do We Create Beliefs:
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The imprint period, the period between age 0 and age 7, is when beliefs are formed.
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● They are shaped by key people in our lives, at that time.
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● Most of us do not consciously decide what we will believe; most of us are generously donated our beliefs by influential
parent figures during our imprint period.
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● Once we have a belief, we forget it can be changed and it becomes our reality.
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● We rarely change our long-held beliefs and they become a filter through which we sieve all our life’s expectations and
experiences.
Our beliefs are often held in the deepest levels of our unconscious mind.
They are strongly influenced by the behaviour of the significant people in our lives, frequently our parents at a young age.
The Power Of Beliefs:-
Another dimension to the importance of beliefs is their potential impact on our life achievements, health and ageing process.
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● Suggested further reading is Ageless Body, Timeless Mind by Deepak Chopra, who explores the inherited expectation that our body will wear out over time. Chopra estimates that without negative influences from outside, our bodies could last between 115 and 130 years before the ageing process finally caused them to shut down. And you have research on groups of people living secluded from the rest of society.
Chopra talks even about the disastrous impact retirement can have on people’s lives and health.
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● Beliefs about ourselves act as self-fulfilling prophecy. If our beliefs are limiting us, we act in a way that proves our beliefs to ourselves. However, if we have empowering beliefs, we act and behave in a way that releases our potential and allows us to be our true selves.
Limiting Beliefs:-
Limiting beliefs are the major culprits stopping us achieving our goals and living our values.
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● They act as rules that stop us getting what is possible, what we are capable of and what we deserve.
→ When a coach asks “what stops you from achieving your goal?”, the answer very often are limiting beliefs.
● Limiting beliefs may come from childhood, past experiences or even from the media
Typical examples of limiting beliefs:I need to work very hard to have enough money to live. No pain, no gain.
I need to be rich to be happy.
Success takes a long time.I can’t trust anyone.
I am bad with computers.
I never get what I want.
Other people are better than me. I can’t get what I want.
You Can Change Your Beliefs:You can change your beliefs. It’s possible and often necessary if you want to make lasting changes to your life.
For example, students who learn about presentation skills and how to present. Just learning the skill isn’t enough. They need to believe they are a great presenter. If you do not build the new belief you are a great presenter, then the old limiting belief that “you suck at it” will sabotage the new learned skill.
● Keep focusing on your new beliefs and building new blocks for yourself: this is how you build evidence that the belief has changed and you will be surprised how you begin to experience the world differently now.
Coaching And Working With Limiting Beliefs 1/3-
Some coaching can take place without dealing with beliefs and that’s ok.
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● However, if the client has doubts about their ability to achieve their goal, then the coach needs to explore
their beliefs.
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● So there the role of the coaching is not only to help your client solve the problem, but also to change the
thinking that led to the problem in the first place.
→ Here the client learns that their beliefs about the problem are the part of the problem. By changing their beliefs, they come to take new actions that not only solve the problem but lead to new experiences outside the context of the problem.
Coaching And Working With Limiting Beliefs 2/3-
Ask the client to think about an important goal.
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Ask them, while keeping the goal in mind, to say out loud each of the following sentences. As they do so, both the coach and the client should give a score from 1 to 10.
1 means they don’t believe the statement. 10 means they truly believe the statement.I deserve to achieve [my goal].
I have the skills and abilities necessary to achieve [my goal]. It is possible to achieve [my goal].
[My goal] is clear.
[My goal] is desirable.
[My goal] is not detrimental to me or anyone else.
[My goal] is worthwhile.-
Low scores (less than 7) show a limiting belief or that the person has not thought about the goal sufficiently. As a coach, you need to explore these more.
E.g. What is making you doubt this?
Coaching And Working With Limiting Beliefs 3/3-
If as a coach you didn’t give the same score as your client, challenge them “Are you sure?”.
Remember you are doing this in the service of the client’s best self. Also, sometimes the client scores what they would like to believe instead of what they really believe. Make sure you are satisfied with the client answer. -
Another way to identify limiting beliefs is to ask the client why they are not achieving their goal right now. What do they think is stopping them?
The answers will show you what they perceive as “limits”.
→ Whatever the client says is stopping them from getting their goal is a belief. Remember that the belief comes from the client, not reality.
In order to achieve a goal, someone needs to believe 3 things: - It is possible to achieve it.
- They are capable of achieving it.
- They deserve to achieve it.-
Clarify what is the topic your client would like to be coached on.
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Identify client’s belief(s) on the topic of the coaching session. (Are they empowering? limiting?)
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Wrap up the coaching session by giving your client a task (inquiry or challenge) that will help them.
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Posted by Oracle Portal
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